It’s easy to build rapport with people who go out of their way to build rapport with you. Enneagram Type 2s have heart and want to connect with you at an emotional level. How do they do that? By helping you! Don’t get in the way of Type 2 building rapport and trust with you.
Enneagram Type 2s want appreciation from those around them. The desire for appreciation compels them to seek ways to help others in return for appreciation. What’s the easiest rapport building strategy for Type 2? Appreciate them! Type 2s are capable of receiving boundless amounts of appreciation. Try it yourself. I’ve never found a limit.
Appreciation is Like Oxygen
Appreciation for Type 2s is like oxygen. They need it continuously. Deny the 2 of oxygen and what happens? They feel suffocated. When 2s don’t receive the appreciation they expect, they get angry. You can avoid that by determining what they did for which they expect appreciation, and then give them the appreciation they need. Better still, giving a gift as a token of appreciation will keep the 2 on your good side.
Mirroring 9.0 – The Exception to the Rule
As discussed in this 5/8/20 blog, mirroring is one of the most important rapport building skills. There are many ways to mirror others’ behaviors—body position, vocal pace, Enneagram style, etc. However, when building rapport, there is one Type 2 behavior you may not want to mirror—ironically, that’s helping the 2. Unless the 2 specifically asks you for help, Type 2s consider giving help their job. If you start mirroring the 2 by trying to help them, you may get into a competitive helping situation. Rather than that, simply allow the 2 to help you, and things will go much more smoothly.
Connecting is Twofer
Enneagram Type 2s are well connected and love opportunities to interact with and connect people. If you are looking for assistance, ask a 2 to help you find people. They probably know someone who can assist you. For the 2, this is a twofer, because they get to connect with and help two people, you and the person who can assist you. Having Type 2s connect you with others is a great rapport build technique.
Here’s another rapport building example—when speaking with Type 2, the conversation often turns to reminiscing about some event in the past. Type 2s love to relive the emotions of past events that involved friends and family—it’s an easy way for them to immerse themselves in the emotional content they love. Indulge the 2 because by participating in these conversations you are establishing rapport.
When does rapport building take place with the Enneagram Type 2s in your life? How are you building rapport and trust? What steps to building rapport are you taking? What works and what have you learned to avoid?