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Roaring 2020s

Are you Maintaining Healthy Habits and Resiliency in the Roaring 2020s?

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Life continues to throw us curve balls. How are you reacting to unforeseen challenges.  In this episode, authors Kimberly Layne, Twiana Armstrong and I share our thoughts and experiences about how we are maintaining healthy habits to create a wellness baseline that gives us resiliency while navigating challenging times.

 

Find Kimberly and Twiana here:

Kimberly Layne: https://www.kimberly-layne.com/

Twiana Armstrong: https://linkedin.com/in/twianaarmstrong

#leadership #wellness #habits #health #Roaring20s #Roaring2020s

 

[Video Transcript]

[Twiana Armstrong]

Leaders as you strategize about finishing the year strong, take stock, what successes are YOU checking off your personal leaderboard? Your organization relies on you to show up at your best, physically and mentally. Recent studies recommend parents include mental health exams in their children’s health checkups; examinations that check for anxiety in kids of elementary school age and examinations that check for depression in teenagers.  When you stop and reflect on these recommendations, adults should include mental health exams in their checkups, as well.  We can all agree that our lives are jam packed, each day brings experiences that we may or may not control. Your personal leaderboard must list key performance indexes, KPIs, that promote habits and behaviors that focus on you taking care of yourself. As you take stock, are you performing at your peak, physically and mentally? Your KPIs should indicate daily, weekly and monthly healthy behaviors that you consistently perform and consistently track. Take advantage of your organization’s wellness perks and benefits, regularly schedule vacations and retreats to refuel and see your medical expert for health and wellness checkups.  These KPIs keeps you performing at your best!

 

[Matt Schlegel]

Thanks, Twiana.

It’s so important to create habits that allow you to maintain good physical and mental health.

I really I try to do that. I try to eat well; I try to get regular exercise; I try to make sure that I get eight hours of sleep.

But sometimes life just throws things at you that disrupt your patterns, and your resiliency in those times depends on your base, where you’re starting from. That’s why it’s so important to make the investment in yourself to establish that healthy base while  you’re well.  When you start from a good base, you’ll be better able to navigate through challenging times.

And I just went through one of those challenging times with my mom’s health, where all of my routines ended up being disrupted. I had to spend time over at her place and then sometimes at the hospital. My eating habits were disrupted, as well as my exercise habits, and my sleep habits; everything got disrupted, and I could feel my ability to maintain composure and keep my anxiety levels down start to fade as that went on for what ended up being around two and a half weeks.

It really tested me, and I can’t imagine how I would have managed if I were already in a stressed state going into that.

Thankfully I was at a good starting point, and thankfully she’s now recovered. Since then I’ve been able to resume my normal patterns, and now I’m starting to feel much better myself.

You don’t know when something disruptive is going to come at you. It seems like disruptions are becoming more and more frequent all the time.  That raises the stakes for maintaining a healthy baseline when you can.

Kimberly, what are your thoughts?

 

[Kimberly Layne]

Matt and Twiana, thank you for sharing your insights into self-care, especially amidst change.  Very often when life happens, we abandon self-care.  I like to look at change as a test in self-care.  In essence it is teaching us to honor our core foundations of wellness in order to best get through it.

I recently read a book by Matt Kahn who is considered as much as a spiritual influencer as the Dalai Lama and Eckhart Tolle.

In his book, the universe always has a plan, he discusses that change, and adversity, is really an opportunity.  Very often when we have change in our life, or when ‘Life Happens” such as an elderly parent now requiring our presence and extra care,  our company goes through a reorg and we are no longer employed, or we find ourselves in the midst of a pandemic and an isolated lockdown, we  assume this kind of outcome as disappointing, an inconvenience and even a set back to our life.

Matt on the contrary encourages us to realize and know that change will always leave us in a better state than before the change. We may feel at first the loss of our job, or a divorce is excruciatingly devastating, but very often years later we realize it was the best thing that happened to us.  Realizing that there is a gift we cannot see in the midst of the pain, fear, and inconvenience can permit us to not abandon our habits of self-care, but to actually reach for those moments of self-care, knowing the outcome will be fine and we will be eventually too.

I will even take it a step further.  when so called “Life” takes over, we should view the challenge by (1) accepting and knowing it is a gift unseen. (2) Reach for self-care to help us through the process as we know we will better for this experience, and (3) By accepting our circumstances even to the point of being thankful for our adversity, we can fast track through the adversity and challenge.

So, stop resisting, start accepting, reach for self-care and be thankful for the adversity and you will get to the other side much quicker.

 

 

Belongingness in the Roaring 2020s

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To Diversity, Equity and Inclusion we are increasing adding Belongingness as a central consideration in creating healthy workspaces and organization.  Here authors Twiana Armstrong, Kimberly Layne and I discuss considerations for leaders who are working to bring belongingness to their organizations.

Kimberly Layne: https://www.kimberly-layne.com/

Twiana Armstrong: https://linkedin.com/in/twianaarmstrong

#Roaring20s #Roaring2020s #leadership #DEI #DEIB #Belongingness

[Video Transcript]

[Twiana Armstrong]

The Diversity, Equity and Inclusion work has added another life element to communal efforts towards building an open, accepting and educated society. DEI and B for belonging or belongingness. Per Wikipedia belonging is a human emotional need to be an accepted member of a group – be it family friends, co-workers, or religion. Belongingness is an art and a science. Art because it is a “complex and dynamic process unique to each person.” And a science because psychologists’ research is believed to have captured and measured this innate and inherit need to belong in infants as young as two weeks old. Belongingness is not new. A sense of belonging comprises one of the concepts of the hierarchy of needs outlined by Abraham Maslow’s paper titled “A Theory of Human Motivation” submitted in 1943. As a reminder, Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is displayed as a pyramid of the 5 human needs: physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem, and self-actualization. Leaders’ it is fundamentally important to create a belonging culture.  One that is measured by workforce retention and increased productivity. Validate and encourage an accepting workspace community, one that allows employees to show up as their authentic identity, be open to new ways of working, and demonstrate a mindfulness of others.  These are just a few tips.  Matt, what are you sharing about belonging or belongingness?

[Matt Schlegel]

We have instinctual rapport-building processes that allow us to build trust with one another.  Many of these instinctual processes tend to drive us towards conformity.

Birds of a Feather Flock Together.  Go Along to Get Along.  These are just a couple of the sayings  that describe this human instinct.

An organization that strives towards making people feel they belong regardless of how they present (pause) may face headwinds in rapport-building amongst team members as they will have to consciously and deliberately explore our innate rapport-building instincts.

Robert Sapolsky in his book Behave describes the part of the brain – the insular cortex—that drives our in-group and out-group responses.  There are 3 main responses,

One is, “I care and think it’s great with distinctly-presenting people showing up;”

A second one is, “I care and don’t like outsiders;”

And a third response is, “I really don’t care one way or another.”

Organizations working towards building belongingness must raise awareness of these distinct responses and make accommodations for conversations that allow all employees to realize that mission of the organization is the one thing all have in common.  We all have differences, and we can appreciate that these differences are our strengths in helping us achieve our common mission.

Kimberly, what are you thinking about in terms of belongingness.

[Kimberly Layne]

Thanks Matt, yes, an organization can define its culture, and as a leader you are executing on that definition. Are you inviting your people to belong or are you asking them to fit in?

Fitting in or Belonging are two different cultures and Brene Brown states that belonging and fitting in are the opposite of each other.  Why?

Belonging is allowing and inviting your employees to show up as they truly are in their complete individuality and uniqueness in gender, ethnicity, education, and style. They have embraced and honored themselves and they have chosen to show up with full authenticity and vulnerability. Not pretending to be someone they are not.

Fitting in is asking your people to show up in a certain way, to meet certain criteria to “fit in.”  and therefore, meet the criteria to “belong.”  By trying to fit in they will have to betray or dishonor themselves.

True belonging doesn’t ask us to change who we are (or betray ourselves) but asks us to be who we are (and embrace ourselves).

As a leader, will you choose to create a culture of true diversity, equity inclusion, and belonging or just pretend that you are through fitting in criteria?

How is Gen Z responding to stress in the Roaring 2020s workplace?

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Gen Z is entering the workforce at an extraordinarily stressful time. Authors Twiana Armstrong, Kimberly Layne and myself discuss what we are seeing, how Gen Z is responding, and what leaders can do.

Kimberly Layne: https://www.kimberly-layne.com/

Twiana Armstrong: https://linkedin.com/in/twianaarmstrong

#Roaring20s #Roaring2020s #MentalHealth #GenZ

[Video Transcript]

[Twiana Armstrong]

Recently read an article posted in 1999 that read, “Not that the older generation, hasn’t always heaped hopes and fears on the rising one, expecting it both to carry on what adults value and avoid their mistakes.”  As we reflect on our hopes and fears, we now witness five generations co-existing in the workplace: traditionalists, baby boomers, generation x, millennials, and generation z. Overlay this context with generational differences impacted by societal, political and community ills; all of which highlight differences between behaviors and outlooks. This generational diversity emphasizes that there is no one size fits all approach to leading and managing workers, especially our younger generations, the gen xers, millennials and the gen zers. Growing up, their worlds have been shaped by extremely significant events, oftentimes violent and chaotic, that subsequently influence their daily motivations. Leaders who do their homework have identified the keys to adapt, to communicate, to accommodate and prioritize for these generational variations.  Be bold in your efforts to invest in psychological empowerment and psychological flexibility, both of which promote mindfulness and positive mental health and quality of life, allowing for employee self-care.

[Kimberly Layne|

As parents, as teachers, as leaders, if we really stop and look, I mean really stop and look, …How do we see our younger generations faring, not just physically, but mentally?

Disruption is no longer temporary, but our “new normal.” The pandemic is in its third year, and we are also facing geopolitical conflicts, extreme climate events, sexual abuse, and inequality

For many adults, we have past memories, …happier and more positive memories that keep us keeping on, but, for our younger generations their lives have been a slew of unpredictable traumatic events:

Plane attacks, school Shootings, lock downs, terrible isolation, and disconnection. These constant unpredictable events, …hit the human core and are a terrorizing threat to their internal safety.

No wonder we see increased ADHD, depression, suicide, and violence against each other There is an absence of control, understanding and a helplessness on how to fix the problem.

Our youth are fighting to gain control

They press their employers to tackle climate change and find halfhearted responses that have minimal reach.

They have inspired organizations to address workplace mental health, yet they themselves suffer mentally, and are fearful to ask for help or take advantage of resources.

How can you as a leader meet these generations where they are?

Insightful David Rock, co-founder and CEO of the Neuro Leadership Institute, states

. “When the outside world is really uncertain, we all need more purpose and control in our day-to-day.” Getting our younger generations intrinsically tied to their work and meaning of the work they are doing is one way to give them back control.

Another way to give back control is to develop higher emotional skills. Such as Empathy, vulnerability, and an emotional understanding of ourselves and our struggling youth.

Your emotional strength as a leader provides a controlled environment for emotional safety and security.

Our younger generations are crying out; we as leaders need to be able to empathetically read, understand, and motivate them through this erupting landscape and keep them keeping on in a healthy mental state.

[Matt Schlegel]

Thanks, Kimberly.

Yes,  Gen Z is entering the workforce during a very fraught time.

This is the first generation fully raised on Social Media.

This is a Generation that grew up with the multiple threats of school shootings, pandemic, and climate change.

They’ve learned that the adults in their lives ostensibly there to protect them are resoundingly failing to do so.

They have no allusions that their employers will behave any differently than other adults in older generations.

One way that Gen Z is responding is by putting their social media skills to use and organizing to create worker-led movements. Famously, there’s a wave of Starbucks workers forming unions.  As of today, over 150 stores in 25 states voted in favor of unionizing and hundreds of stores across the country are awaiting union votes.

Workers at other high profile companies are also unionizing: Amazon, Apple , REI and Trader Joe’s just to name a few.

Younger generations find that building community in the workplace is an effective way to address the mental wellness issues of our age. I am expecting to see this trend continue.

Cynically, some employers have responded by co-opting the Diversity, Equity and Inclusion movement to bust union organizing efforts. In his recent article in the Intercept,  Lee Fang also points out that employers are discontinuing using terms like “human capital” which speaks to the commodification of people at the company.

While these rebranding efforts may work on older generations, Gen Z sees these as the union-busting efforts they are, which further enrages and activates them.  They’re seeking actual material benefits, not just words.

A Gen Z version of Jerry MacGuire might say: Show me the Diversity, the Equity, the Inclusion, and the Money!

Thanks.

Taking Care of your Mental Health in the Roaring 2020s

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May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I am joined by fellow authors and coaches Kimberly Layne and Twiana Armstrong as we discuss stresses in our Roaring 2020s and how we are coping with them. We provide examples of what we are doing to maintain our mental health.

Kimberly Layne: https://www.kimberly-layne.com/

Twiana Armstrong: https://linkedin.com/in/twianaarmstrong

#Roaring20s #Roaring2020s #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth

[Video Transcript]

[Twiana Armstrong]

We’re acknowledging in May, Mental Health Awareness Month, emphasizing the need to take care of ourselves, as well as one another in today’s society. The world has experienced a tremendous amount of change in the past two years, multiple pandemics – Covid and the social/racial reckonings, all intertwined with horrific mass shootings and natural disasters. How do these incidents contribute to our mental wellbeing?

As early as the 1920s, psychiatric epidemiologists began to document how social environments contributed to the development of mental disorders and in the 1980s, epidemiologists shifted their policy focus to the early identification and prevention of mental illness in individuals. History recalls the 1920s introducing a lot of change, cultural revolutions – social and racial, the rise of a consumer-oriented economy and big business.

As we take a look at 2022, we must take seriously how we promote and engage in positive mental health strategies for ourselves and our employees. Within the 8 hour or more workday and 40 hours or more workweek, business leaders should strategically plan how to help employees navigate and cope within their social environments to be well and be safe. Access to and navigation of employee assistance programs, EAPs, speaks volumes to your focus on quality of life.  Creating environments of open communication, creative work shifts, and employee driven engagements allow employees to attend to their mental health needs.  It’s called belongingness.

Kimberly, what insights are you sharing about Mental Health Awareness?

[Kimberly Layne|

How serious do you take your mental and emotional wellbeing?  Are you tuned in?  Are you periodically taking a deep emotional inventory?

I recently became engaged to a wonderful man and my life will positively blossom. I will be moving to Northern Ca from so Cal, And, in addition to becoming a wife, I will become a mother to his two wonderful boys while managing a family and household. Yes, this is an extremely positive time in my life, and I am elated.

Coincidentally 4 months ago when I began spending 90% of my time with my fiancé and family, I also began experiencing sinus issues which have progressively manifested to debilitating sinus headaches, physical exhaustion, and nausea. After visiting an ENT Specialist, I have been diagnosed for sinus surgery.

At the same time, I decided to leverage other resources; I sought the help of a professional.   I come to realize that my past experience of abusive, non-trusting and unprotective relationships are triggering a “fear factor” for THIS healthy loving relationship. my burying and not truly feeling all all of my programmed innate fear and triggered emotions they have chosen manifested as this sinus disease.  What we emotionally refuse to feel our bodies will reveal!

That evening I decided to take an Epsom salt bubble bath and to sit with my thoughts, I mean I truly sit in silence, and feel my emotions. In no time I had tears streaming down my face from the fear and pain of my past. Miraculously, the next day I was feeling 90% of myself with my energy back, and my head nearly clear. I did not realize how much I was burying my underlying feelings. And how powerful that fear truly was.

Those 30 minutes of allowing my true emotions to surface was monumentally healing.

What are you not feeling? What are you burying or running away from? Again, What we do not express emotionally our bodies will express (reveal) physically. When was the last time you took a deep emotional inventory?

Matt, what are your thoughts.

[Matt Schlegel]

Thanks, Kimberly, for sharing your powerful story.

I’m so glad were talking about this.

From a mental health point of view, this month has been very tough for me.  We experienced a mass shooting in Buffalo that has impacted me very deeply.  I am horrified.   The shooter was inspired by ideologies of Replacement Theory and Eco-fascism.  It seems that some who are having an anger-based emotional reaction to the climate crisis will be targeting those who are not like them. And here we are in our Roaring 2020s, one hundred year after the rise of fascism in the 1920s led by Mussolini in Italy.  This is a truly horrifying echo from the past.

So how do I process my feelings about the horrors of mass shootings and of climate change?  Firstly, I talk about it with sympathetic friends, which is one of the reasons I am so grateful for both of you and our ability to have these important conversations. I also will take long, mountainous hikes with friends to work out these feelings, getting both the conversation and a great workout.

Also, I have joined a rock band! I find that immersing myself in learning and playing music helps me process my feelings. When I am playing with others, I become so focused on the music that it gives my mind a healthy escape from my anxieties.

We all need to acknowledge that we live in a time of extraordinary stress and these stresses are impacting our emotional health. Please take time to be aware of how these stresses are affecting you.  Learn some techniques that help you identify your triggers, like we discussed last month.  Take measures to manage your mental health. We’ve mentioned a few: conversations with sympathetic friends, exercise, playing music, and taking a nice bubble bath.  Seek professional help if you start feeling overwhelmed. Importantly, be kind to yourself and be kind to those around you.

Thanks for listening.

Roaring 2020s—The Will Smith Moment and Amygdala Hijack

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A viewer recently suggested that the 2020s are less roaring and more raging – the Raging 2020s. We recently saw Will Smith lash out on a national broadcast, and this month we take a moment to reflect on amygdala hijack, the triggers, and what we can do to avoid them. What can we learn from both Will Smith’s and Chris Rock’s behaviors?

I am joined by fellow authors and coaches Kimberly Layne and Twiana Armstrong.

Kimberly Layne: https://www.kimberly-layne.com/

Twiana Armstrong: https://linkedin.com/in/twianaarmstrong

[Video Transcript]

[Twiana Armstrong]

I recently read the following quote, “Resilience requires the ability to learn from and bounce back from failure.” What does that look like when the failure is suddenly our inability to show up as our best self? From healthcare to self-care, some would argue that the evolution of American medicine from the Roaring 1920’s to the roaring 2020’s, is challenged to provide a complete cornucopia of care.  “Throughout the 1920’s new technologies and new science led to the discovery of vitamins and to increasing knowledge of hormones and body chemistry.” In the 2020’s, the cornucopia of medicine must include self-care breakthroughs that promote resiliency. Resiliency for emotional and mental well-being, especially during trauma inducing episodes, is at the heart of the evolution of medicine.  Traumatic events are often triggered by incidents referred to as amygdala hijacks that sometimes activate a fight or flight response to highly emotional and stressful situations. Situations characterized by fear, anxiety, aggression, and anger that can generate illogical and irrational comebacks. Whether leading self or leading others, identify and establish self-care goals that not only build your emotional intelligence, but will also drive your ability to be resilient.

[Kimberly Layne|

Yes, Twiana, self-care is at the heart of our wellness. We all can act out with an emotional response or impulse when we are triggered by someone or something, that “attacks” ourselves or our connections; and we fail to do the “self-check” before we react- to this “amygdala highjack.”

Recently we had all witnessed the “Will Smith Moment,” at the Oscars Ceremony and Will’s emotional response to Chris Rock’s comment.

I imagine the Chris Rock also had an amygdala hijack – “I was just hit by Will Smith.”  Yet, his response was quite different than Will Smith’s.

What sets us up for those reactive, unprofessional, emotional responses that put our emotional brain in full absolute control? Could it be the visually and globally connected world, the prevalence of self-promotion or self-display on social media, our own health, wellness and stress levels, and ceaseless “noise” of monumental expectations?

How can we come from a different place in those moments, or catch ourselves before we do or say something we might regret?

Chris Rock appeared to catch his amygdala hijack moment. He paused with a   moment of self-awareness which led to his self-regulation and restraint. Moreover, in his recent public engagements, he continues to state “that he is processing and will continue to process what happened that night, and his response to it.

I believe National Televisión provided us with this poignant moment as a “Learning Lesson” for all of us to take inventory of our own emotional health and wellness and determine if we have our own self-awareness and self-control running at the highest capacity or show up as the best version of ourselves?

[Matt Schlegel]

This topic reminds of Robert Sapolsky’s book Behave.  Not only does Sapolsky talk about the brain chemistry of amygdala hijack at the moment of the hijack he also talks about the preconditioning of the brain leading up to the hijack and the influences that result in these predispositions.

When your amygdala is hijacked, the emotional part of your brain takes over and disconnects from the reasoning part of the brain.

In this state, we can lose our ability to assess the consequences of our actions, and can lash out in highly inappropriate ways.

Many times, our amygdala is hijacked out of our very strong fear of experiencing feelings of shame.  Humans will go to great lengths to avoid feeling shame.  Ironically, their behaviors often lead to a greater shame than the one that they were trying to avoid in the first place!

Twiana mentioned that greater self awareness can help us identify our triggers for amygdala hi-jack.  I think that the Enneagram is a terrific tool for becoming more self-aware. In fact, there is an Enneagram type that is highly sensitive to feelings of shame, for instance.

Once you know your Enneagram type, you will better understand your possible triggers.  That self-awareness can help you recognize when your amygdala is at risk of hi jack and help you avoid taking an action that you may later regret.

Chris Rock’s behaviors have served as a great model of self-restraint—holding back on lashing out with an emotional response. I really applaud Chris Rock’s conduct throughout this entire incident. And we all have a lot to learn from this.

#emotionalintelligence #enneagram #amygdalahijack #EQ #selfawareness

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