Schlegel Consulting

Evolutionary Team Effectiveness

Matt Schlegel

Mirroring 9.0—How to Build Rapport with Diverse Teams using the Enneagram

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Birds of a feather flock together.  Why is that? Turns out, we are most comfortable being around people like ourselves.  How can leaders build diverse teams while still building rapport among teammates? The Enneagram provides an answer.

Rapport and Team Effectiveness

The Oxford dictionary tells us that rapport is a close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate well.  But is rapport important for team effectiveness?  Do effective teams communicate well? Yes!  Do effective teams share and understand each other’s ideas? Yes!  Are they in a close and harmonious relationship?  Yes! Clearly, rapport is essential for effective teams.

Mirroring

Mirroring is a phenomenon that occurs when we communicate with others—it’s a natural rapport-building mechanism by which we reflect back verbal and nonverbal cues.  Those cues include posture, arm placement and speech patterns, among others. Have you ever noticed during a conversation that you’ve positioned your body in the mirror image of the other person?  That’s mirroring in action. You can learn more about mirroring here.   Mirroring is the way we tell the other person, “Hey, I’m like you; we’re birds of a feather.” It’s our instinctual method for building rapport.

Conscious Mirroring

Knowing the power of mirroring for rapport building, why not deliberately use this technique for increasing team effectiveness? For instance, when you are with someone who takes a relaxed posture and speaks slowly, you can deliberately relax and slow down your pace.  Conversely, if they sit up right and talk fast, you can do the same. Another simple way to mirror, is to repeat back someone’s idea to them before you respond.  Doing that, you are communicating that you listened, heard and understood their ideas.  By mirroring in these simple ways, you are making the other person feel more comfortable, thereby building trust and rapport.

Birds of an Enneagram Type

At an Enneagram workshop I conducted, I asked the group to think about their best friends in high school and guess what Enneagram type they are.  As we went around the room, the pattern became clear—most everyone concluded that their best friend was the same Enneagram type as themselves.  It’s easier to build rapport with someone whose Enneagram style is similar to our own.  But can we adjust our own style to build rapport with any other style?

Mirroring 9.0

Knowing the nine distinct Enneagram styles adds more arrows in your mirroring quiver.  When building rapport with someone whose style is the same as yours, easy-peasy, you can just be yourself.  When building rapport with other styles, learn to adjust your own style to accommodate and mirror their style.  Doing so will help you build rapport with that person.

Cut to The Chase

I am Enneagram Type 6, and I like putting my ideas into context when communicating. You can probably tell this from my writing style. Type 8s, on the other hand, just want to get to the point.  If they want context, they’ll ask for it. Otherwise, don’t bother. You’re just wasting their time.  Knowing that my Type-6 communication style does not match well with the Type 8’s style, I deliberately adjust my style—I just get to the point and wait for questions.  Letting the 8 lead the conversation will make them feel more comfortable, improve communication, and build rapport. 

Why So Many Questions!

Conversely, if a Type 8 communicates with a Type 6, the Type 8 will simply state the point.  The Type 6 will want to know the context and start asking questions (sometimes Type 6 is labeled the Questioner.)   Since the Type 8 will feel like they’ve already worked out everything, rehashing issues may annoy them.  Being a Type 6, I have to check my tendency to ask lots of questions with Type 8s.

Starting Point—Knowing Your Own Type

For both scenarios, the starting point for me was to know my own Enneagram type and associated communication tendencies. Once familiar with those, I was able to adjust my tendencies based on the preferences of the other types. By learning to match the communication styles of the others based on their Enneagram type, you will be building rapport with your teammates.

Mirroring 9.0—Rapport Building Communication Tips

While each Enneagram type represents a tapestry of behaviors, there are some simple tips you can use to improve communication with each type.

Enneagram Type 1—Acknowledge my desire to get things right; give me the information and time I need to do it.

How to Build Rapport with your Enneagram Type 1 Teammates

Enneagram Type 2—Appreciate me for my contributions; provide me with new opportunities to help.

How to Build Rapport with your Enneagram Type 2 Teammates

Enneagram Type 3—Recognize me for my accomplishments; show me ways I can continue to achieve.

How to Build Rapport with your Enneagram Type 3 Teammates

Enneagram Type 4—Acknowledge my unique perspectives; engage me in conversations about emotions and feelings.

How to Build Rapport with your Enneagram Type 4 Teammates

Enneagram Type 5—Recognize my deep knowledge and understanding of a subject; allow me to contribute my knowledge is safe ways.

How to Build Rapport with your Enneagram Type 5 Teammates

Enneagram Type 6—Recognize my abilities to think about the future, plan and strategize; indulge me in conversations about what may happen.

How to Build Rapport with your Enneagram Type 6 Teammates

Enneagram Type 7—Let me know how much you like me; let’s dream about new and fun things to do.

How to Build Rapport with your Enneagram Type 7 Teammates

Enneagram Type 8—Acknowledge my desire to get things done; get to the point so I can get into action.

How to Build Rapport with your Enneagram Type 8 Teammates

Enneagram Type 9—Acknowledge my ability to understand other’s perspectives; don’t push me to share my own.

How to Build Rapport with your Enneagram Type 9 Teammates

Knowing the Enneagram types of your teammates and practicing these tips will help you build rapport and trust with your teammates.

Employee Engagement

According to Gallup, in 2019, the percentage of “engaged” workers in the U.S. was 35%. Hey, lot’s of room for improvement!  And, what’s the number one reason why it’s so low?  Gallup finds that the relationship between the employee and the direct manager is responsible for 70% of low engagement. 70%!  Now we know what to work on—building rapport and trust!

The Leader Sets the Tone

As a leader who desires a highly effective team with a diversity of styles, building rapport with your teammates is crucial. Learning the different Enneagram styles of yourself and your teammates and learning how to mirror those styles is a rapport building technique that will help improve team effectiveness and achieve higher employee engagement. Sharing your rapport building tips with your teammates will serve as a model for the entire team to build a self-supporting and self-sustaining environment in which the entire team can thrive. I detail leadership traits and Enneagram at work in Teamwork 9.0.

What rapport building strategies are you using to improve team effectiveness and employee engagement?  How are you honing your rapport building skills?

You Made THAT Decision?
ICK!

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I feel icky.  At least I did when I realized I had to make a decision the other day.  It wasn’t my first choice. But, I knew it was the right choice. Still, the decision made me feel… well, icky.  Ever been faced with a decision that made you feel icky?

First Reaction? Time Out!

Ickiness was not my first reaction to the idea.  It was anger.  My gut told me – No Way!  I’ve learned that when I have such a strong negative response to an idea to give myself a figurative time out.  In other words, I refrain from responding until I have calmed down.   In this case, I waited 24 hours. In that time something remarkable happened. 

The next day when I awoke, the feeling of anger was gone.  And, in its place was a feeling of ickiness. Having given myself time to think about the proposal, I had come to the conclusion that it was likely the best course of action. It was not the course of action that I would take, but it was a course of action that would accomplish the goal and appease the majority of stakeholders. So, the decision was made, but I felt icky.

Decision Making and Problem Solving

Decision making is an integral part of problem solving. In the nine-step problem solving method I describe in Teamwork 9.0 and summarize in a blog here,  the first part of the process is the decision making seven steps by which you decide the approach to solve the problem.  

In step 3, you and your team generate ideas. Step 4 is your emotional reaction to those ideas.  In this case, my first step-4 reaction to the proposed idea was anger.  Step 5 is when you think about the ideas, not with emotions or feelings but with logic.  As I moved into step 5, my feeling of anger dissipated and was replaced with a feeling of ickiness as I concluded that the idea made sense logically.

Once I had come to that logical conclusion, it was easier for me to overcome my feelings of ickiness and go along with the proposed approach. While the decision-making process can be treated discreetly, it is instructive to consider the tight link between problem solving and decision making.

Time Heals All Ickiness

Here’s the good news.  While I felt icky after making the decision, by the next day the icky feeling was very faint, and by the day after that the feeling was like a distant memory. The approach that the team proposed worked and solved the problem. The team maintained its coherence and enthusiasm during implementation.  I am happy with the outcome and can now move on to new projects. I am reminded of the phrase, “this too shall pass.”  Indeed, the icky feeling did pass.

What decisions are you facing that make you feel icky?  For you, which dominates your decision making—gut reactions, feelings or logic? Do you consider the passage of time when you make a decision? When your logical head tries to reason with your gut and heart, which wins? Is it more important for you to avoid feeling icky or to make the best decision?

Your Creativity
Going Up or Going Down?

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What sparks a creative idea in you?  What gives you the motivation to follow through on that idea?  These can be two distinct and often opposing forces within each of us.  How can you tap these forces for your creative engine?

Threat Level Red

Our behaviors vary based on stress levels.  For instance, when under stress my anxiety levels rise, and I become hyper focused and highly energized to eliminate the source of the stress. Alternatively, when I’m relaxed, I’m able to let my mind wander, and in that state I tend to think creatively.  In other words, in one state I tend to generate ideas and in the other state I am energized to implement ideas.

Stress Levels and the Enneagram

The Enneagram diagram symbolizes changing behaviors under stress by the arrows in the circle. These arrows are commonly called the paths of integration (in the direction of the arrow) and disintegration (opposite direction of the arrow.)   

The Enneagram explains my behavioral changes this way:  Since I’m a type 6, when my stress levels increase I start behaving more like the focused, productive type 3; when I am relaxed, I behave more like the peaceful, attentive, open-minded type 9.

Creativity Seesaw

Each of the nine Enneagram types has a distinct relationship with two other types along the paths of integration and disintegration.  In chapter 5 of Teamwork 9.0, I show how stress levels and the movement along those lines can serve as an engine of creativity for each type.  One state is more conducive to generating ideas, while the other state is more favorable for acting on ideas. The motion between those two states, like going up and down on a seesaw, serves as a distinct creative engine for each Enneagram type.

 Creative Process Steps

How does the creative process work? Using the seesaw a creative process model, here is an example of the creative process that can be used for creative problem solving and innovation:

Stress See: Posed with a problem or challenge, a need arises that you must address.

Calm Saw: You sleep on the problem and, in your calm state, generate a possible solution which occurs to you when you awake or when you are in the shower the next morning.

Stress See: Now you need to implement the proposal by acting on your idea.

Calm Saw: You are relieved that you are making progress, moving towards resolving the problem.

Stress See: You encounter an obstacle preventing you from reaching your goal and requiring that you take a new direction.

Calm Saw: You sleep on the new problem, and so on.

Creativity Fuel

Underlying these up-down dynamics are the motivational drivers for each Enneagram type.  These motivations serve as fuel for your creative dynamics—your idea-action behaviors.  Here are the nine motivators that I use in my creative process model.

Creativity Motivations by Enneagram Type

Type  Motivation  
1Right wrongs, get things “right”
2Receive appreciation
3Be acknowledged for accomplishments and successes
4Be recognized for unique perspectives
5Collect resources, not be perceived as uninformed
6Know what is going to happen
7Be adored by everyone
8Secure control of the environment
9Eliminate discord in the environment

Under the Hood

Getting to know your Enneagram type will give you insight into your own personal creativity engine. Having that knowledge enables you to tailor your reactions to the needs of your situation.  When working with a team, some situations call for ideas and some for action.  Knowing your creativity tendencies allows you to maximize your energy and idea contributions to your team and your creativity in the workplace.

Interested in learning more about your own creativity engine?  Start by taking the Enneagram test at www.EnneaSurvey.com.

Failure to Communicate—How to Make Every Mistake!

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Working from home in a virtual team environment is a veritable petri dish for miscommunication with your remote teammates. I’ve been working with remote teams for years, yet in the last two weeks I’ve managed to make every mistake in the book! Why am I making so many mistakes?

Here’s the sequence of events that led our virtual team off track and tips for how to improve team communication skills with your remote team members.

DAY ZERO

My creative team rolls out a new feature on our website which they report to me by email. They nicely enumerate 5 points in the email; I respond to four points and say I will respond to the last point later when I have time.

Later that day, I respond to the thread with a second email in which I enumerate three issues that need correction and include screenshots of two visual issues.

Mistake #1—My creative team typically is very responsive. They responded right away to my first email, but never responded to my second email.  I did not realize this, and thus did not follow up to ensure that the issues I described in the second email were understood.

TEAM COMMUNICATION TIP—Acknowledge receipt of important email; follow up to make sure important communications are received.

DAY SEVEN

I receive an email from my creative team reporting bug fixes.  One of the fixes corresponds with one of three issues I had identified. Examining the website, I noticed that they had fixed the second issue. 

Mistake #2—I did not follow up on the third issue. I assumed they were still working on it.

TEAM COMMUNICATION TIP —Don’t assume; do confirm!

DAY TEN

I receive an email from my creative team on a separate feature that they are implementing.  After responding to the contents of their email, I added an update which included a comment that I am looking forward to resolution on issue #3. They respond immediately and note that they are looking into issue #3.

Mistake #3—By adding my comment in response to an unrelated issue, I increase the likelihood of these unrelated issues becoming conflated. 

TEAM COMMUNICATION TIP —Create distinct emails for each issue so that email threads don’t become confused.

DAY ELEVEN

The creative team’s project manager informs me the following morning that they will address issue #3.  That afternoon she sends me an email saying that they do not see the issue and attach an image of what they do see.

Mistake #4—Late that night, I quickly scan my emails before going to bed.  I read the text but do not scroll down to see the image that they attached.  Had I looked at the image, I would have discovered that the two unrelated projects had indeed become conflated, and now we were looking at completely different things. The following day I am busy with other things and don’t get back to the email.

TEAM COMMUNICATION TIP —Read email when you are prepared to address it and/or schedule follow up. Avoid reading email right before bed.

DAY FIFTEEN

Not remembering the email from Day Eleven and repeating Mistake #3, I again bring up the issue in an unrelated email thread late Friday afternoon.  This time the project manager picks up the phone and calls me.  She resends the email she sent on Day Eleven which I read carefully for the first time and discover that we are looking at completely different features!  After a 15-minute conversation, we were on track to resolve the issue, perhaps for the first time in fifteen days.

TEAM COMMUNICATION TIP —Sometimes a quick phone conversation can save a lot of email back-and-forth.

Corona Brain

Being thrust into working remotely presents extraordinary virtual team communication challenges. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for those of you working from home for the first time and having to learn all the tips and tricks necessary for effective remote collaboration. On top of that learning curve, we are all dealing with the stresses of a global pandemic, being cooped up with others 24/7 or perhaps enduring the loneliness of being isolated. Perhaps we are having to care for kids and juggle home schooling.  The pressures are intense.

My creative team and I have been collaborating remotely for nearly 10 years.  We’ve never met in person. We’ve never zoomed. We’ve worked on dozens of projects. We practically read each other’s minds!  Even we are now susceptible to the distractions of these extraordinary circumstances. We are reminded that we need to slow down, read emails more carefully and be more patient with each other as we navigate these turbulent times.  We agreed to memorialize our commitments with this blog.

How are you developing team communication and collaboration best practices? What steps are you taking to stay focused on your teammates and improve your virtual team success factors? 

Need Inspiration? Ask Ben!

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When are you at your creative best? For some it comes when you’re under stress. For others, when you’re calm and relaxed. Does inspiration come to you out of the blue or while you’re actively thinking? What are your personal creative thinking techniques?

Ask Ben Franklin

When I have a challenging problem and no ready solution, I’ve learned a technique that gives me an answer. It goes like this—before drifting off to sleep, imagine presenting your problem to someone you trust and admire. When you awake in the morning, you have the answer. It’s amazing how well this technique works for me.   The person I ask is Ben Franklin. I imagine walking down steps from the street to his basement workshop where he’s working on a project.  He looks up at me, and I explain what I need. Then I go to sleep. Just like a newspaper, Ben delivers in the morning.

Daydream Believer

How do you access your creative ideas? Do they come consciously or subconsciously?  While Ben helps me access my subconscious, intuitive creativity, mainly my inspiration comes while I’m conscious. I’m very prone to daydreaming, especially when I’m trying to read!  Ever had to reread a page multiple times because you get to the bottom and realize you don’t remember a thing?  Some of my best ideas come as I daydream while “reading.”  Daydreaming is one of my favorite creative thinking techniques.

Head, Heart or Gut?

The Enneagram model describes three centers—head (thinking), heart (feelings) and gut (intuition).  Creativity and inspiration can come from any of these three.  My daydream inspiration definitely comes from my head.  I suspect that Ben is delivering intuitive inspiration from my gut. But what about feelings from the heart?  How can I access creativity through feelings?

Chillin’ with the Remote

The most common way I engage with my feelings is by listening to music and watching TV.  There’s something in the way it moves me that invokes feelings. For me, this is much more about relaxation and recreation than inspiration. However, for musicians and filmmakers, those feelings may be fertile ground for inspiration.  The creative process is different for different people.  As is the ability to be creative under pressure.

Performing Under Pressure

How are you at thinking on your feet? Those that have ready access to their intuitive inspiration (without having to go to sleep) tend to have easier access to creative ideas while under pressure.  I believe this is also true for those that are accessing inspiration from their feelings. For those of us in our heads, it can be another story. Personally, when the pressure’s on, my anxiety levels rise and mask my ability to think on the spot. I am much more creative when I am relaxed.

Diversity of Creative Skills

Problem solving and creative thinking in the workplace go hand in hand. Creative problem solving involves ideation and inspiration. Given that each of us has a distinct source of inspiration—head, heart, or gut—with easier or harder access based on stress levels, having a diverse team with different creative techniques ensures your team has a creative source under any circumstance. The Enneagram serves as a framework for each of these creative problem solving approaches. I explain this framework in detail in chapter 6 of Teamwork 9.0. Each of the nine Enneagram types provides a distinct creative skill. A team with diverse Enneagram types can deliver diverse approaches to creative problem solving.

What creative problem-solving techniques do you use? From where do you source your inspiration? Under what circumstances are you most creative?  Do you think better under pressure or when relaxed? Knowing your creative style guides you to being your creative best!

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