When a situation calls for an abundance of patience, understanding and empathy, turn to your Enneagram Type 9 teammates for guidance. Masters of de-escalation, Type 9 strives to reduce conflict. Therein lies the key to building rapport and trust with Type 9.

Two Ears, One Mouth

Enneagram Type 9s have the ability to understand everyone else’s perspective.  How do they do that?  Type 9s tend to be on the quiet side.  Rather than talking, they focus on listening.  By listening, they absorb everyone’s opinions and perspectives. Doing so gives them the ability to put themselves in other’s shoes and to intuit and predict how others will react in a given situation. 

Mirroring 9.0

As discussed in this 5/8/20 blog,  mirroring is one of the most important rapport building skills.  Enneagram Type 9 strives to minimize conflict and appreciates those that do the same. Reflecting back empathy and a consideration of others’ perspectives is an important rapport building strategy with Type 9. Though it may not be apparent, Type 9s are driven by anger.  At the core of the Enneagram intuition-anger center, Type 9s suppress anger within themselves and strive to minimize any anger in the environment so as to keep it from welling up inside.  This dynamic is the engine that drives Type 9 to ensure that everyone’s perspectives are heard and understood—a rapport building technique that the 9 uses with others and that you can reflect back to them.

The Enneagram’s Top Spot

There is a reason that Type 9 takes the top spot on the Enneagram diagram.  This spot symbolizes their ability to see everyone else’s perspective. Balanced exactly center-top, they can empathize both with the more feeling-based types on the right side of the Enneagram and the more logic-based types on the left side.  They can intuitively put themselves in everyone’s shoes specifically with a sensitivity to minimizing an anger response.

Where Do You Want to Eat?

If you ask Type 9 where they’d like to go out to eat, they will likely respond, “I don’t know, where do you want to eat?”  The 9 may know EXACTLY where they would like to eat, but rather than share that, they will put the decision on you.  Doing so avoids the possibility of a conflict arising over the choice.  Even if you push and insist the 9 choose, they will not be thinking about where they want to go; rather, they will imagine the place that you would most want to visit.  They will choose that to avoid the conflict.  When building rapport with Type 9, it’s always nice to ask where they would like to eat.  Rather than force the 9 to make the decision, you can imagine where the 9 would like to eat and choose that over your own preference. Doing so mirrors the behavior of the 9 and serves as a rapport-building technique.

Peaceful Protest

Instead of direct conflict, the 9s go-to strategy for resistance is passive aggression. If you ever need help with something and the 9 says, “Sorry, I’m busy,” they are either 1) actually too busy, or 2) they just got you good.  Often you won’t even know that they got you, but they will know, and that’s good enough. 

In light of the many protests occurring as I write this blog, I cannot help but be reminded that peaceful protest is a very Type 9 strategy.  Marching in solidarity with like-minded people and furthering the aims of the group represents Type 9 behavior at its best.  They are drawn to goals and efforts that minimize harm for the greatest number of people, and if they can achieve those goals with minimal conflict, all the better.

Competitive Physical Sports

Another way that Type 9 can vent any pent-up anger is playing physical sports.  Once on the court, the calm, quiet, complacent 9 transforms into a raging animal!  Within the confines of the mutually agreed upon boundaries and rules of the game, the 9 can act out their aggression with abandon.  Participating in physical competitive activities with Type 9 is another rapport building example.

When does rapport building take place with the Enneagram Type 9s in your life? What steps to building rapport work for you? What have you learned to avoid?

Get to the point.  To communicate effectively with Enneagram Type 8 you must be succinct.  If they want more details, they’ll ask.  Letting them lead the conversation will create the environment for building rapport and trust.

Time for Action

Enneagram Type 8s prefer action to talking.  To get to action, if a decision needs to be made, the 8 will be decisive.  If the decision takes you in the wrong direction, no worries—just correct course and continue moving forward.  Type 8s typically don’t fear making an incorrect decision because they can always change later if necessary.  Taking action takes precedent. 

Mirroring 9.0

As discussed in this 5/8/20 blog,  mirroring is one of the most important rapport building skills.  The Enneagram Type 8 characteristics to reflect back to your Type 8 teammates include getting to the point, being direct, and acting decisively. Demonstrating these characteristics is an excellent rapport build strategy. Type 8s are the external anger type of the Enneagram—tapping into anger makes this type the most comfortable with confrontation. They respect others with their same style and by reflecting that direct, to-the-point manner you can build rapport with your Type 8 teammates.

Operating on Intuition

Enneagram Type 8s rely on intuition to inform their decisions.  When presented with a situation, they will have a gut reaction for how to proceed, often without having to think about it.  In fact, thinking and talking may seem like a waste of time to the 8 because they will have already intuited the answer.  It is important to respect the instinctive nature of the 8 when building rapport.

Being a Type 6 myself, I want to think things through and ask lots of questions.  These behaviors frustrate and anger the 8, so in my interaction with Type 8s I work to check these tendencies. Also, my tendency is to frame my conclusions into context.  My typical conversations start with context and end with the conclusion as the punchline. When speaking with 8s, I start with the punchline and only explain the context if asked.  Often the 8 will have already intuited the context, and explaining that first is just wasting their time.  I’ve found this an important rapport building technique with my Type 8 teammates.

Fail Forward

Unlike many other Enneagram types, Type 8s have very little fear of failure.  They so trust their instincts that the possibility of failure may not even occur to them.  If at some point along the way they sense that things are going as expected, their intuition informs them of how to adjust and carry on.  They would not treat that as a wrong decision or a failure, just an adjustment along the way.

24-Hour Rule

If there is an important piece of information that you think your Type 8 teammate may be overlooking, simply tell them directly without making a big deal of it. The 8 will internalize the information and correct course if necessary, usually within a day’s time. A fellow worker dubbed this the “24-Hour Rule.”   Also, if there is any bad news, don’t hide that from your Type 8 teammate. They will be direct with you and expect you to be direct with them.

Walking and Talking

Since Type 8s so value action, I find that scheduling conversations while walking or hiking is a wonderful time to build rapport. In this rapport building example, the 8 won’t feel like they’re sitting around not getting something done. Rather, they will be moving and looking forward.  A Type 8 friend of mine says that his personal motto is acting now with an eye towards the future.  Walking and hiking are literal embodiments of that creed and walking together can create an environment conducive to building trust and rapport with your Type 8 teammates.

When does rapport building take place with the Enneagram Type 8s in your life? What steps to building rapport work for you? What have you learned to avoid?

Wanna have some fun?  Find an Enneagram Type 7!  Type 7s like being around other people, and others like being around them. Type 7s make it easy to build rapport. 

Type 7s are like Parfait

“You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits!” said Donkey in the movie Shrek.  Type 7s are the parfait of the Enneagram. They tend to be fun, charming and talkative.  They are very effective at making themselves likeable. They have the innate ability to “work a room”—go around, connect, and make sure that everyone’s having a good time. Who doesn’t like that! (Donkey is an good example of a talkative Type 7.)

Mirroring 9.0

As discussed in this 5/8/20 blog,  mirroring is one of the most important rapport building skills.  Enneagram Type 7s want to keep things light and fun; engaging with your Type 7 teammates in fun conversations and activities is a great way to build rapport with them. Enneagram Type 7s are the external anxiety type, external meaning that the source of their anxiety comes from outside of themselves—specifically from their relationships with others.  As long as they have a positive relationship, their anxiety is low.  If they sense any negativity, especially directed at themselves, then anxiety shoots up. For Type 7s, their anxiety reduction strategy is equivalent to a rapport build strategy.

Don’t Bring Me Down

Type 7s want to avoid negative situations, and they tend to be dismissive of other’s negative emotions.  If you need a shoulder to cry on, you can count on the 7 to encourage you to cheer up, but do not expect much beyond that—they are not wired to empathize with negative emotions.  As a rapport building strategy, keep your conversations with Type 7s on the emotionally positive and light side.  Engage in activities in which everyone involved can participate and enjoy themselves.  You can elicit the best out of your Type 7 teammates in these situations—you almost can’t help yourself from having a good time.

Help Me Get to Action

Another important way of building rapport and trust with your Type 7 teammates is to help them get to action.   They are reluctant to engage in activities that they perceive to be boring or negative in any way—even when they know they need to do it.  You can help them overcome this barrier by turning the activity into a team effort, so that they can be interacting with their teammates as they work through the task.  Creating a fun, team-based environment for Type 7 teammates is an excellent rapport building technique.

I once worked with a Type 7 who traveled extensively to Asia.  While he loved his job, he hated filing expense reports.  To him, those reports were tedious and boring with no positive social interaction—the worst of the worst.  Over the years—yes, years—he racked up 10s of thousands of dollars in reimbursable expenses.  Not even that amount of money could overcome his disdain for that boring activity.  This example highlighted to me the importance of caring about the tasks assigned to Type 7 teammates.

Think It, Speak It

Type 7s have a fascinating speaking style.  When telling a story, they will tend to take multiple tangents as they are reminded of things that they are compelled to mention. Another rapport building example is to patiently listen to your Type 7 teammates as they tell their story, sidetracks and all.  Also, don’t be put off if the Type 7 interrupts you when you are speaking.  Your story may remind them of something, and once they think it they are compelled to speak it.  This think-it-speak-it characteristic of the 7 makes them excellent at light, bantering conversations.

When does rapport building take place with the Enneagram Type 7s in your life? What steps to building rapport work for you? What have you learned to avoid?

How To Segment Your Best-Paying Clients With The Enneagram Model

Henry DeVries Contributor, May 28, 2020, 09:00am EDT

https://www.forbes.com/sites/henrydevries/2020/05/28/how-to-segment-your-best-paying-clients-with-the-enneagram-model/#5f2cf0e7cb71

Matt Schlegel, who uses personality models as one of his ways to get at the heart of his client’s needs, was able to provide further advice. Schlegel has spent the last 13 years refining methods for reaching clients better, working in a business development role for two consulting practices. He recently published a book, Teamwork 9.0—Successful Workgroup Problem Solving Using the Enneagram, on teamwork based on his understanding and practice of the Enneagram model. 

Schlegel had these tips about segmenting your clients to provide the best service:

Starting Point: Ask questions. 

“What problems are your clients trying to solve? Listen carefully. Based on their answers, they will reveal their Enneagram type. Type 1 may say, ‘I am not getting the accurate and complete information that I need to make timely decisions.’ Type 2 may say, “My team is working overtime every week and meeting goals, yet we get no acknowledgement for our extraordinary efforts.”  Each Enneagram type will frame a problem from their type’s perspective. It may be the exact same problem, but you will get nine different answers! Versing yourself with these nine perspectives informs you of your prospect’s type during these early conversations.”

Pain Avoidance is Key. 

“People are much more sensitive to pain and loss, than pleasure. Once you understand your prospect’s type, you will understand the pain to which they are most acutely sensitive. For instance, Type 3 fears failure, while Type 4 fears being considered common or ordinary. Being able to speak about your service in a way in which your prospect perceives they will avoid their distinct pain will ensure that they pay close attention to your offering.”

Point Out the Positive Benefit. 

“The flip side of pain avoidance is positive benefit. Pain and benefit are two sides of the same coin, and each Enneagram type has a distinct coin. Used together, they deliver a powerful message to your prospect. For Type 5, who values information, you may say, ‘In order to avoid missing critical data during your analysis, our solution provides you with all the facts so that you can present well-informed presentations to your board.’ For Type 6, who wants predictability, you may say, ‘Our solutions remove human error, so that you get reliable results each month.’ Knowing the Enneagram type of your prospects allows you to formulate the most impactful message.

Develop Pattern Recognition. 

“After a while using the Enneagram, you will discover that certain Enneagram types migrate to certain roles in the company. This pattern is extremely useful when preparing content appropriate for your prospect. For instance, I find that Type 7s relish roles in marketing. Type 8s frequent leadership roles such as COO and CEO. And Type 9s fill service roles such as IT and customer service. Understanding these patterns can give you clues that help you tailor your business development messages appropriately.”

Personality models like Enneagram are helpful tools for the real task: understanding our clients. Like anything, it takes a lot of practice to develop the skills, but using something like Enneagram as a model will allow you to start thinking about your clients differently.